Farwell to Nova Scotia - Irish Rovers

And he's off.

Checklist:

• Catch Bus
• Catch Plane
• Order warm-up drink
• Spill warm-up drink. Just like the last time I flew WestJet.
• Arrive at Debate Tournament
• Remember to prepare cases for debate tournament
• Win Debate Tournament
• Catch Bus
• Impress Cricket's parents, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles
• Impress Cricket
• Mentally and permanently tell Norway to go to hell.
• Realize I forgot any/all of: gifts, bathing suit, razor (like I need it...), reading material
• Catch Bus, convince driver to stop on side of road
• Remember that printed pictures of Wilfred Laurier or Sir John A. help in convincing
• Help Solve Maritime Fish Crisis
• Worsen Fish Crisis, via stomach/mouth
• Get lost in Terra Nova
• Take helicopter ride with annoyed looking people from Newfoundland Wilderness Rescue Team
• Visit George St.
• Try to remember first language, own name, why am cuddling police helmet
• Catch plane
• Press 'Next' on CD player - listen to "Home for a Rest" - Spirit of the West

Redneck Yacht Club - Craig Morgan

The Breneman works at Aylesford Lake Yacht Club, home of a number of moderately sea-worthy vessels, a scarlet Zodiac known as 'The Red' (which Ian is often in) and also some of the most enjoyable sailing types I've seen. I know what you're thinking... letting me loose at a yacht club is like inviting Korn to play the Queen's Silver Jubilee. And if you were actually thinking that... seriously, what's wrong with you? You think like me. Let's go have a drink.

Ian's existence, to begin said redneck theme, is in a trailer from 1969 - coincedentally, the last time that it was cleaned. (Zing). It's roughly equivalent to the Chateau Frontenac, in terms of comfort and amneties - if the Chateau Frontenac was found in central-Alabama, and had been stripped down for parts and turned into a camper. There are three seperate 'rooms' - all located in one room. The 'Honeymoon Suite' - a square table-cum-bed that forces the sleeper into diagonals; the 'Loft' - a glorified clothing shelf that gives the sleeper roughly 3 inches of space betwixt nose and roof; and the 'Master Bedroom' - Ian's bed, which actually has nothing too funny that can be said about it.

Such is the glory of the Yacht Club that they have lost the rudder on the 'pride of their fleet'. However - you couldn't find a nicer or more obliging group of people. The Commodore - Steve - is a gregarious sort, and only reacted somewhat strangely when I referred to Ian by his naval rank (Admiral, of course - I have recently been promoted by said Admiral to Lt. Commander). There was many people up for a game of washer toss (the metal rings... not the appliances... though the latter would have seemed possible had Ian poured me another r&c), most of whom tried to biff the discs at me at one point or another. And most of whom may have come up to about my knee, and had an age equivalent to my hat size.

Also: there were tiki torches. Steve says they were to keep away the bugs, but we all know the truth. They just wanted tiki torches. And I'm pretty okay with that.

We stayed up around a fire until 3:30 am, chatting with the Commodore and his wife, before turning in at Chateau Breneman. Yay for the lake.

The next morning, at... oh... 9:00 or so, I was awoken by Ian so we could go watch Marshall the Safety Guy do his safety demo. He was... enthusiastic, demanding that people create a "culture of safety" and pointing out that one can't save lives... they can just extend them. With Army fatigues and some combat boots he could have passed for the sarge from Full Metal Jacket... only slightly less profane, and without the clever japery.

ALYC = At Least You Came... and didn't drown, get carried off by bugs, or killed by a rogue washer. That's just the kinda place it is. Seemed pretty close to normal, t'me.

One Heart - CJ '97 Theme Song

I've been going through rafts of photos and newsletters from Guiding Mosaic '06, held in Guelph, Ontario - very near where I went to high school. It really, really makes me miss my Canadian Jamboree experiences. In 1997, in Thunder Bay, and 2001 in PEI, I was lucky enough to get to go to Canada's largest Scout Camp, first as a Scout, then as a Scouter. Now, Cricket's off gallivanting about Guelph doing what, as far as I can tell, is the Guiding equivalent.

I've noticed a few key differences, here and there, however. First of all, the girls at GM06 appear to be much more colour-coordinated then us lads ever were. They've got colour-coded hats by subcamp. We were lucky if our kids remembered there was a subcamp.
Second, GM06 has freaky mascots. Polar bears, apparently stricken with dance fever, surround the site, adding an eerie, carniverous touch to Guelph that's normally only filled by roaming U of G students. At CJs both 97 and 01, I recall a grand total of 0 mascots... except for that little racoon thing that's at every single one and haunts our dreams. Huh... maybe it is the same.
Thirdly, Girl Guides trades crests too! I can just see how this will lend itself to creating the utmost of awesome.

This has all encouraged me to get my ass to CJ 07 - in Quebec!! Now it's just time to find a troop to work with again. Man, I miss Scouting.

Alcohol - Barenaked Ladies

As surely as Orpheus descended into the depths of hell to recover his wife, so too have I descended, at long last, into the intoxicating wonders of alcohol. Up until, oh, the first week of September 2005, I'd had fewer alcoholic experiences than fingers on a clumsy butcher. Then I met Colin Hoult. But first, a Reader's Digest version of the preceeding 20 years.

August, 1999 - First drink, a Labatt Blue at a staff party for Jester's Restraunt. I was 14 or so at the time, and the rest of the kitchen staff had determined to get me drunk, high and laid. They managed to get me to drink one beer. I believe this constitutes as utter failure on their part.

November, 2002 - First shot, a double of 151 straight, without a chaser. I was at Mike Polla's birthday party, and decided that, really, what harm could one drink do? There's a video of it circulating somewhere of me taking it, putting it back, and standing there waiting for something to happen while Dubes, the guy taking one with me, choked back tears and Valkyrie screams.

October, 2003 - Inititation for 7th floor, where I completed a beer century of 100 beer shots in 100 minutes. This was the first time (age 18, now) I experienced any kind of intoxication, and became - in short - an inverted pendulem. My then-girlfriend put me to bed, gave me hell and threatened to not talk to me if I drank again.

January, 2004 - Montreal, for the Model UN trip. What a shock that it was in Montreal that alcohol should flow freely. Here I discovered the joys of Tartan's Special Scottish Ale (still one of the all-time bests), the problems of temptation and the joys of having a good friend who can keep an eye on you.

July 2004 - My cottage. Alone. I found I made Dean's List, so poured a vodka-OJ to celebrate. Having had only a handful of alcoholic experiences to this point, perhaps unsurprising I didn't realize that 50/50 is not a great mix. Nevertheless... managed to find the upstairs of my cottage at some point, after brief voyage to boathouse and confusion over why there was water in my 'room'.

November 2004 - Recieved essay back from Comparative Politics, and was devastated by the mark. In truly mature fashion, decide that best possible response is to have 5 drinks in 1.5 hours... at 1:30 in the afternoon... they go to class... and proceed to give prof hell. Lucky to have not been expelled.

Now... here and there had been the other occasional drinks... a wine and cheese night here, a Guinnes with Ieener there... but the proverbial floodgates opened when I met Colin D. Hoult. The lad, upon hearing that I didn't drink much, decided to put his foot down.

Since then I have experienced what occurs when you attempt to finish 3 chocolate martinis in under 10 minutes, then run home... wherever the hell home may be. I have experienced what occurs when you wish to use a fork as an analogy to relationships. I have experienced what occurs when your bankbook cries blood and says "Please, God, no more!!"
Typical exchange, post-transformation:

Concerned friend: Why are you guys drinking tonight?
Rivers and Colin: It's the last Tuesday of the week!

or, for example,

Rivers: "What's the largest beer you sell?"
Waiter: "Uhhh... 60 ounces."
Rivers: "Perfect! I'll take one!"
Waiter: "Uhhh... normally we call that a 'pitcher'. Should I bring you a glass?"
Rivers: "Nope!"

When I began to worry about who to thank in the acknowledgements section of my thesis, the fact that Paddy's, the Library Pub and Alexander Keith all were in the top 5 was, perhaps, a greater worry.

However. So far, since my liver appears to be adapting, Darwinian like to the rigours its been put through, and George St. calls, I think it's probably for the best that Colin wasn't around this summer to keep my life difficult.

Oh. Wait. Hi Karl. Never mind.

Cheers.

Your Song - Elton John

I continue my Ezmy pilfering ways, and since I just lurrrvvv to talk about music - see my blog post titles - I was on this like ugly on a moose. Also, stay tuned, for a special "Upcoming Features" trailer at the end.

NAME UP TO THREE:

Song(s) That I Loathe to the Core of My Being
Perfect - Simple Plan
Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson
Come What May - Moulin Rouge Soundtrack

Musical Artist(s) That I Loathe to the Core of My Being
Britney Spears
Jennifer Lopez
Jessica Simpson (though 'Musical' is a stretch)

Rolling Stones Song(s) I Love
Blinded by Rainbows
Start Me Up
Wild Horses

Beatles Song(s) I Love
Let it Be
Come Together
Magical Mystery Tour

Country Song(s) I Love
What Hurts the Most - Rascal Flatts
BBQ Stain - Tim McGraw
What a Beautiful Day - Chris Cagle

Movie Soundtrack(s) I Love
Shrek 2
The Wedding Singer
Muppet Treasure Island

Musical Sountrack(s) I Love
RENT
Moulin Rouge (it's a musical, right? Some debate. It fits here.)
Les Miserables

Cover Song(s) I Love
I'm Raving - Scooter
True Colours - Fredro Starr ft. Jill Scott
Big Yellow Taxi - Counting Crows

Contemporary Top-40 Artist(s) I Secretly Love
I am fairly certain I can name no current top-40 artists, forget ones I secretly love.

Song(s) That Bring Me to Tears
Blinded by Rainbows - Rolling Stones
Norwegian Wood (This Bird has Flown) - Beatles
Come What May - Moulin Rouge

Song(s) That Make Me Shake My Ass
What a disturbing mental image...
A Little Less Conversation - Elvis Presley
Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) - Big and Rich
I2I - Powerline

Rap/Hip-Hop Song(s) I Love
Yeah - Usher ft. Ludicrious and Lil John
Get Low - Lil John ft. Ying Yang Twins
Country Grammer - Nelly

70s Disco Song(s) I Love
I must admit that I can't tell the difference between disco and non-disco.

70s Song(s) I Love
Or what decade a song came out in. Thanks Wikipedia!
Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen
Baba O'Reilly (Teenage Wasteland) - The Who
Hand me Down World - Guess Who

80s Song(s) I Love
Walking on Broken Glass - Annie Lennox
Rock you like a Hurricane - Scorpions
We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel

90s Song(s) I Love
Black or White - Michael Jackson
Peaches - Presidents of the United States of America
Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex

00s Song(s) I Love
You're the Only One - Maria Mena
Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
This Year's Love - David Grey

Song(s) To Have Sex To
What an intriguing question...
You're a Superstar - Love, Inc.
Don't Stop me Now - Queen
Good Lovin' - Rascals
Now those are titles that certainly lend themselves to the topic, even if the songs may be a bit eclectic.

As for the promised preview...

*movie voice* 1999. It appeared for one day. It then returned to the depths it came from. 6 years passed. Like the Kraken of mythology, it lay dormant. Waiting. Waiting. Until one day...
*cue dramatic music* In Wolfville, Nova Scotia, led by a crack team including Colin Hoult, Chris Rivers and The Library Pub, it returned to the light of day.

Alcohol (Barenaked Ladies) - Coming Soon.

On My Own - Les Miserables

Things I've learned since moving off-campus...

1) When you happen to mention in passing that your favourite flowers are tigerlillies, they start blooming in front of your door. This requires no effort, no planting, no watering, weeding, pruning or fertilization. They just appear. True story.
1b) Those aren't tigerlillies. They're daylillies.

2) Garlic powder, oregano, basil and cayenne pepper basically cover off all possible food dishes. I've used them to flavour sandwiches, pastas, roasted mushrooms, potato salad, chicken breast, fish and roast potatos. So far. Great potato salad? Yukon gold, celery, dill pickle, hard boiled egg, cayenne, basil, garlic, mayo and honey mustards.

3) Laundry very rarely disappears if you ignore it and shove it a bag. I've also learned that towels need to be washed very often, despite the fact they're primarily used on clean people. This is an unexplained mystery paralelled only by that of Keith Richards' continuing life.

4) Bugs. Are. The. Devil. And when attempting to combat them, placing the ant-trap on a wall so they can't climb in is probably not the most effective of solutions.

5) It's exactly 1.03 km from my front door to the entrance of the BAC.

6) Dirty dishes can reproduce and multiply amoeba-like, whereas clean ones are actually undergoing a constant Darwinian process in the cupboard. Through careful observation, I've noticed the strongest plates and mugs team up and devour the side plates and juice glasses, ensuring that there are NEVER any available when I have a guest over.

7) The best way to ensure you well is to never, ever allow yourself to buy anything that looks like it may take less than 4 minutes to prepare. I have no food in my house. Only ingrediants.

8) Sometimes when one hears an insect buzzing 3 inches from one's ear, and yet can't see it, it's better not to assume it's a hornet hell-bent on killing you, and that the best course of action is to dive off your computer chair, through your lamp, into a barrel roll and come up swinging a piece of dowling while emitting a shriek of the pitch normally reserved for calling dogs. It's hard to look tough that way. And it sometimes turns out to be just a June Bug, which is about as threatening as a Swiffer.

9) Unlike residence, the odds are I won't be woken up by someone at 3am, while they attempt to paddle a kayak down the hall.

10) Regardless of above sentiment, it is actually possible to want to be up at 3am talking to someone. Every night. For 2 months. And then be completely unable to revert to any kind of sleep normalcy when they leave.

Irish Pub Song - Flogging Molly

There they are, folks: the first three members of the public to enter Paddy's when it re-opened. Rivers, Karl and Colin K. crossed the threshold, paused for a photo to be taken by the wife of the owner, and then plumped down at the bar at 1:40pm. I ordered a pint of Raven Ale, and tasted my beer again. First pint drawn to the public at the new Paddy's - and it was this guy. Hey Hoult... I already know you're proud.

Paddy's Brewpub - it's been a long, hard winter. To quote Rascall Flatts, "It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you, but I'm doing it."

Well - no more.

On January 25th, owing to an 'electrical fire' that started in the kitchen, the home of so many Wolfville memories, so many good dinners and so many dollars spent, was gutted. Students, of course, immediately blamed Joe. I stood outside in the bitter air, surrounded by friends, all of us staring in dismay. I was going to be late for Political Philosophy... but thankfully my professor also had stopped to watch the best place in town go slowly to ground.

23 weeks to the day after the blaze, we were back on the stools, and it was as though I hadn't skipped a beat. A quick shout-out to the Library Pub - you were an admirable stand-in, and have shouldered your way onto my list for all time. But Paddy's... you're the place where I feel the most comfortable, and it's good to have you back.

Now Wolfville is almost perfect. All I need is Cricket and Colin, and I'm set to go.

Welcome back, Ravel Ale. Welcome back, AVA. Welcome back sweet potato fries.

Welcome back, Paddy's Pub.

Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice

It's perhaps more than a little bit funny that at Acadia University, a school I genuinely love, my computer has been reduced to this: like a kid who just sprained an ankle, my Dell Latitude D600 needs an ice pack.

I wish I was kidding. I'm not.

The hard drive, for whatever reason, overheats dramatically. Usually, in a temperature controlled building, this isn't the end of the world. However in my occasionally stifling house, it's just too much for my poor computer, who was on the verge of passing out.

Two ice-cubes and a Ziploc bag have legimately solved the problem. Why do I feel that this isn't the kind of story that the Acadia Advantage is supposed to spawn?

In other news: Canada Day in the 'Fax with Ieener and Jackson was amazing, Ian's cousin 'Constable Responsible' was a gracious and welcoming host, and the fireworks were great. If that bastard Murphy just hadn't put his landing right in front of them, we'd have had a great view.

Happy Canada Day, all, albeit a bit belated, and thanks to the Fern who helped me with my only spontaneous 'O Canada' - but in French, so that's okay.