All These Things That I've Done - The Killers

Until September of 2005, I was probably the most moral person I knew. I then spiralled downwards into what I would arrogantly call "the average morality", where people just kind of let themselves do what feels right at the time, and not worry about longer term consequences.

Ironically, I would argue that almost every bad decision I made in my 3rd academic year was the result of the influence of one person. While I was the one who made the poor decisions, and thus and ultimately to blame for it, it was only because of the fact that I am completely incapable of even making a single rational decision when this other person is involved. They are untrustworthy, more than a little selfish, more emotinally screwed up than even me and to top it all off, someone who is able to draw me into leading a completley unhealthy lifestyle.

Ironically, despite my very strong feelings towards this person, almost no one even knows their name. My jeesh, really, and that's about it.

And yet I can't help myself. Every time I hear from the person, I'm thrilled that they're back in my life - only to know that they'll soon push off, like a boat shoved through the choppy waters back into the centre of the lake. And I do things that you couldn't force me to do at gunpoint simply because I feel it may let me stay close to this person again. I should dislike me when I'm around them, and yet the feelings are so strong that I consciously recognize that I don't care.

This person has been the emotional paramount and detriment of my life, responsible for the highest highs and the lowest lows. And with the highs and lows of my life - that's quite a statement.

Crazy Hobbes has just danced back in. Cue the record, and spin that plate.