Really Don't Want To - Crush

"I wonder what Tony LaRussa thinks when he puts Jason Isringhausen in a one-run game in the ninth inning. I bet it's something approximating this: I would rather chew on glass while walking through a pit of boa constrictors, naked and on fire, than watch this half-inning."

- Peter King, Monday Morning Quarterback, si.com

I often try to stretch bizarre analogies... but this one is absolute gold.