ABC, 123 - The Jackson 5

Counting my blessings? How Catholic of me.
Gone from "What I Got" to my A B C.
This alphabet pile may seem thrown together
But it's got it all, friends, sports, food, weather.

A's Ange and Ali, could there be any doubt?
They're simply quite tops, day in and day out.

B is for baseball, bananas and bikes.
One watching, one eating, one my fitness likes.

C is for Cricket, not the sport or the bugs,
But rather the one who eschews lame e-hugs.

D is for disc, both compact and plastic,
Givin' great tunes and catches fantastic.

E is for Edmonton, thanks to the Oilers.
(Damn you Cam Ward, and Carolina dream spoilers)

F is for futbol, let's go Argentina!
Once you guys beat Germany, I'll laugh like a hyena.

G is for grants, there's simply the best.
At the office at nine? Forget it! More rest...

H is for Hoult, who's probably pissed
That he got beaten by Cricket for 'C' on this list.

I is for ice cream, oh wait, I lie.
Im lactose intolerant. Thanks for nothing, Big Guy.

J is for Jackson and jumping in rain,
She sings better, bikes faster and picks on my brain.

K's for kilometers, three thirty-seven.
The pounds theoretically fall like manna from heaven.

L is for Leah, Pink Princess Sarcastic.
I'm also her bitch in matters scholastic.

M's for MacDonald, or maybe just Matt.
He does the dishes. What up with THAT?

N's for Newfoundland, and b'y am I PUMPED?
Grand Falls, then sea squalls, then on George Street slumped.

O is for... office? The one Poli Sci?
It has no windows so we can't jump out and die.

P is for pubs, both Library and Paddy.
Also to Pyrcz, my thesis sugar-daddy.

Q is for queues, the ones filled with killers.
(Really I'm just using some Izzard for filler)

R is for RUM! The coconut kind!
Drink it straight, or with Coke, any way you can find.

S is for squash, and as one suspects,
it's also for sleeping. Just sleeping. Not sex.

T is for Toronto! Home of the Jays!
Not to mention high levels of cancerous UV rays!

U is for useless, cuz' really, this letter?
Nothing to contribute. Bread mould could do better.

V is for variables, like those that I'd have found
For my effing thesis, if I got it off the ground.

W's Westjet, world's best coroporation.
Free flights? Comfy chairs? Newfie vacation!

X is for excess, the stuff I get free!
Senate gives cookies, and Eastlink TV!

Y is for yachts, taught by Admiral Ian,
Who counselled "Yes drinking, No European!"

Z is the last one, and it goes to Zzzzz.
None of which I get, since I stay up past 3.

Well that's all he wrote, and it's time for bed.
Though that was my goal before rhymes filled my head.
So now there's an update, you've all recieved mention.
Now please excuse me: dreams need my attention.