Don't Phunk with My Heart - Black Eyed Peas

Rivers is a little cross today.

Let's say that you're this poor bastard - alone, on the bench, in a no-name arena playing for a no-name team. But you have the dream that one day you're going to be called up to the NHL to play. We're going to give our player a name - he's Kris Fleuves. Now Kris is currently playing outside of the big leagues - he's in some kind of semi-pro league in Scotland.

However - one of his favourite NHL teams owns his rights, which means they can bring him up, if they so choose and he signs a contract. So here's how his life with this team - we're going to call them the Colorado Avalanche - goes. Let's start at the beginning.

In his first year playing for the Berlin IceBears, he's happy with his life. He has a comfortable place to live, enjoys the team and the coach. It's not perfect, but it's a happy life. The Avalanche draft him in the 2nd round and force him to make a decision: he can either leave to play with the team for one or two games, but jeopardize his career with the IceBears. He's tempted to leave for Colorado, but in the end, his teammate convinces him to stay with the foreign league team. He does.

Life continues on for another year or so, but Fleuves is finding that Berlin just isn't doing it for him. He quits the team. Colorado once again comes calling, but the agent they send is only after his physical skills, and despite hinting at contract negotiation, again Fleuves leaves with a bad taste in his mouth, and re-joins the IceBears. However, shortly after, Berlin ends up trading him. Kris, hurt and stung, leaves the Deutch Eishockey League and tries to start again with the Scotland Nessies.

Finally, he's given his chance. After spending the off-season plying his trade for the Gold Coast Barons of the Australian Hockey League, Fleuves recieves a very clear sign from Colorado that they're interested in having him join the team. Kris goes, tries out at an early-season event and thinks things are going well. With plans to meet again for another tryout, Flevues is pretty happy. However, then Colorado - AGAIN - walks away, and refuses to talk any type of a deal - be it short-term or long-term.

Fleuves, still with the Nessies, has a tumultous season. He scores a lot, but ultimately realizes that he's not happy until he gets his chance. So he takes a huge risk and leaves his relatively stable and content life with the Nessies and devotes his attention to playing for Colorado. At first, it seems to go well - he scores three times in their opening game, and then spends the next day talking things over with team management. They promise to come by soon and get to know Kris a bit better.

A week passes. No sign from Colorado. Fleuves travels to the team headquarters, travels with the team to road games, does everything in his power to at least get a sign out of management if they play on drafting him or not - but recieves nothing. Other than a 'We may call you later' message and misdirections from the GM's secretary.

Kris Fleuves is left with a decision: should he be patient, and keep hoping and waiting for his chance in the big-time? Or should he cut his losses, and either return to the minor league circuits or attempt to get a contract with the Toronto Maple Leafs?

He doesn't know. He's trying to Hold Fast, but his grip is slipping.